Baby Loss Awareness Week 2024
Article written by: Laura Pearson
It’s been 5 years since I lost my baby, Adam. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think of him. I wonder what he’d look like, what toys he’d like, what his voice would sound like. Whether he would be excited or nervous about starting school this year. He died before he was born - we were told at our 20 week scan that his heart was no longer beating. When I held him he was so small, so still but so beautiful. My heart felt broken.
Thankfully, Fife Sands were there for me, offering support and understanding. It seemed so courageous that these people offering this kindness and compassion to me were parents and family members who had lost their own beloved babies. Knowing people could relate to how I was feeling made it easier to talk to them. And talking about him helped. We had all experienced loss, and although we had all experienced it differently, we could share our feelings.
Having Adam’s name on the memorial stone in Dunfermline Crematorium has been one of the things that helped me. Seeing his name embossed on the stone made my loss feel visible and helped me feel Adam was seen too. These letters, so carefully engraved by unknown hands, gave me somewhere to visibly acknowledge the existence of my son, as well as being somewhere I could feel close to him. It gave me a safe space to let my tears fall.
The memorial stones sit within the Snowdrop Baby Memorial Garden in Dunfermline Crematorium. This area has a peaceful atmosphere and there’s usually a rabbit or a squirrel pottering around. For me, it’s a little haven for quiet contemplation.
The garden is maintained by Fife Council Bereavement Services who have kindly given their permission for a Ribbon Display to be held there during Baby Loss Awareness Week 2024. Between 9th-15th October, you are invited to visit the garden and hang a ribbon. You can bring your own ribbon, or use one of the ribbons that will be available within the garden. There will also be pens to allow you to write a name or message on your ribbon. The ribbons will be respectfully removed on 17th October.
If you have lost a baby, whether recently or longer ago, and would like to find out more about having your baby’s name inscribed on the memorial stone, please contact Fife Sands by emailing fife@sandsvolunteer.org.uk. You can find out more about the Ribbon Display and the work of Fife Sands at their Facebook page @FifeSands.
If you are not able to come to the garden but would like a ribbon added with a special name or message, please email dunfermlineribbondisplay@outlook.com to let them know.
